A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I love having hate sex.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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