So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Success! We fucked roommates!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
