You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
