I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
a search helicopter?!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
