You work out of a Hotel?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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