Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
