you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
