thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
