I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
