I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
