I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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