I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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