Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
