im drinking this country out of the recession.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
