Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just gift wrapped bread.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
