Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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