Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
