"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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