She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I have already put on my inside pants.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
