Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
