Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
