Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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