I have demons in me.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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