i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize