There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
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