i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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