so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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