i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
