I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
