that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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