i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The power of my boobs compel you
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize