i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
