i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
