Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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