We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
