Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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