You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
