hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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