Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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