Soap is not a condiment
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
