pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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