No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Fuck me I smell like cheese
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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