You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My feet surprised me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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