Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
