why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
