im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
