i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
