Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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