Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
