I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
whose ass print is on the piano?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
