We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
