We're like a lot better than the average bears
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
birth control should be required to get into college
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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