The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
