She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
