...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
