god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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