I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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